A Wedding in Po-Dunk

As reported earlier, I went home to Tejas for my brother's wedding.

It was...something else again, as my Grandma would have said. Which is a great expression because it can mean anything from That was wonderful! to Are you shitting me?

Anyway.

Brother and Mrs. Brother-to-Be (MrsB2B) had a small ceremony in her backyard, about fifty people. Pastor Paul officiated. Very charming and engaging guy. A Baptist ceremony, as MrsB2B is Catholic. This is her third marriage and I guess the Pope has probs with that. So if you can't go Catholic, go Baptist, I guess. Just as oppressive.

The vows were... Baptist. Lots of, "Brother, will you be the head of this family and promise to guide the submission of MrsB2B...."

Okie dokie.

Brother repeats his vows and places the ring on her finger.

Pastor Paul turns to MrsB2B.

"MrsB2B, do you promise to submit yourself to the guidance of Brother?"

Silence.

"MrsB2B...? You need to repeat after me...?"

Nothing.

Then

She fainted.

Straight out, dropped like a rock.

Brother caught her round the waist. Pastor Paul looks shocked for a moment, everyone is freaking, then Pastor says "Let's get her inside." He reaches down to grab her legs, but manages to get one MrsB2B ankle and one Brother ankle.

Two legs go up, Brother says, "Um that's me Paul!" Paul recovers and picks up the matching pair of legs. Luckily they did not end up in a heap on the patio. Although that would have made for a much more amusing story.

Brother and Paul get totally unconscious Mrs B2B in the house, on the couch with her feet up. We all come pouring in behind. Ice is applied.

A voice from the back calls out, "Cover her legs!"

What - someone is worried we'll get a flash of thigh? How about "Should we call 911?"

MrsB2B slowly recovers, mumbling, "Okay, I can do this...I can...I can do this..."

Like it's the last leg of a triathlon.

Anyway, she rallies, the vows are completed and the party ensues. She took a lot of ribbing and was a good sport about it, I have to say. I mean, pass out at your own wedding?

That was something else again.

Good Times down in Po-Dunk.