Wildlife on San Juan Island

I just returned from a nice trip to San Juan Island, where I spent most of my time watching the wildlife.  I saw many wonderful critters, but no orcas*, alas.  Maybe next year.

I also saw a very cute, curly-mopped young man who worked at The Cask and Schooner, and I spent two evenings lusting for admiring him from afar.  I considered separating him from the herd and seducing him asking him out for a coffee, but

1.  I was only there for three days, and
B.  I talk big but I've never seduced anyone EVER so I am, in fact, a pussy.

Moving on.

The highlight of the wildlife sitings I had was pretty amazing.  I'm including some photos, but I did not take these (thanks Internets!).  I have no pictures from this event, as to why will become evident.

To start with, this particular event is fairly pedestrian.  You can see this activity probably any day of the week up here if you look for it.  However, I have never witnessed such at a mere ten feet away, as I did this time.

When most folks think of The San Juans, they picture

But the interior landscape is lovely too.  Rolly hills and valleys, golden pastures and lavender fields trimmed in evergreen, deep ponds and small lakes reflecting cobalt waters.  It looks like this

Lookit!  A lil lamb!

Note this story does not feature a lamb.

I was driving across the island from Friday Harbor to False Bay, and as I crested a hill, San Juan Valley was below.  The road was straight before me except for a small bend at the very bottom which skirted a good-sized pond.  At my eye level was a bird flying a wide figure eight.  My first thought was (just seeing his silhouette), That's a big gull.

As I descended, so did he.  His flight pattern changed to a circle, and became tighter.  I was about a quarter of a mile away at that point.  Then, his wings stretched wide and he just... floated, wheeling high without a flick of his wings.

He came lower, as I did, and as I got closer...I saw just how big he was.  Hum, I'm thinking, That's not a gull.**

It was an Osprey.

 

When I realized this, I immediately knew what I was about to see.

You know that rare moment, when your mind clears and time slows - some unnamed emotion shoots up your spine, your heart is in your mouth, because you know you are about to experience something incredible?


Only a hundred or so feet away from the pond, I watch him shift, in just seconds, from quiet watchfulness to full-on hunt.  He pinned his wings back in that dynamic double-v and dove down like a shot.

I was right at the edge of the pond, so close I could see the hook of his beak, the gold of his eyes.

With his talons out, the size of your own hands!....

He hit the pond and was back out in the blink of an eye, flinging water from his wings, the sun on the silver fish in his grasp.

Then he was gone, and I almost drove off the road.

The timing, the closeness, the BEAUTY of it - it was so...exhilarating to witness.

I'm still giddy.

Of all the wildlife I've seen, that moment ranks up in the top five of TOTAL BAD ASS EXPERIENCES.






*  I wasn't as bummed about the result this year as I was last - I'm trying to adopt the mindset of, The lower your expectations, the less your disappointment.  Works best in interpersonal relationships, which is a post for another day.
**  That's no moon!

It's The OKC Party!

I've been planning to do this for a while, and there will be more OKC Parties here on Disclaim & Deny because there's just so, so much to post.....  Also sorry for the soft imaging, I'll do better next time.

But meanwhile here's the first.  Enjoy.

JUST READING THESE
MAKES MY CLOTHES FALL OFF.

 

 

BUT COMMAS AREN'T ONE OF THEM.

 

 

I LOVES ME THE MENZ OF FEW WORDS.

Happy Birthday Mister Todd

Okay Peeps you guys know how I love the birthdays.  Not my own, of course, but others'.

I met Todd around 1995, when I worked for FCB on Mazda down in LA.

FCB had a working relationship with a post-production house (PPH) so when my/our work won, off to PPH I went to meet my post group.  It was up in Santa Monica (where all the cool post houses are).

Everyone was great, friendly; and no Big Heads to be seen.  I climbed a flight of stairs, and turned a corner to meet a couple of the graphics guys.

Whoever was doing the introducing, introduced me to Todd - and suddenly NO ONE ELSE EXISTED.

Now this, this, was a specimen of a man - tall, broad-shouldered, with a close-cropped beard and long (longer than now anyway) dark curls.  His green eyes had a mischievous glint that suggested he could do all KINDS of wicked things to me if I could manage to convince him to....  But it was his humor that really drew me to him.  Todd is, hands down, the funniest person I know - and I know a lot of funny people.

Sorry Mark, Rick, Allen and Jonathan!  You guys rank pretty high tho!

When I say funny, I mean in  every way.  Quick wit.  Self-deprecating.  Takes little seriously, except the things that should.  And his writing too!  I can't think of Todd and all his talents without hearing his laughter.

He is also an incredibly thoughtful and kind man.  Back then, I had a series of really unfortunate events that messed me up quick-like:  laid off from FCB, mugged and beaten by two men; sexually assaulted by someone I knew*, all within a few months.

So as I tried to recover from this, I decided to move to the Emerald City.  And who was right there to help me, hold my hand?  Todd.  Who let me stay at his place, burn brownies in his pristine oven, hugged me when I cried for no reason?  Todd.

Years later, he is still that same wonderful guy.  Todd took the time to write me very insightful and full-o-love emails when I was going through a rough patch just a few months ago.

Now, he has his faults and failings as we all do.  But this person has had an influence on my life, and I am very grateful for that influence.  Grateful for Todd, and grateful for this day, when he came into the world.

Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Goldstein, you raised a great kid.

Happy birthday, Todd!






*Rick Benson.  I hope you are incarcerated somewhere, Rick!

Famous Celebrities Are Just Like Us Except for Everything

So I've met maybe seven? arguably famous people.  But those are not interesting stories.*

Here are the two stories about the celebrities I encountered but did not actually meet:

When I lived in LA I (literally) bumped into a very hot famous dude who I cannot name as that would be indiscreet (Kiefer Sutherland).  It was a crowded pub and when I turned to apologize for the bump and ruining his pool shot, I recognized him - but in the, "Hey!  How ya been?" way I have when I know someone but cannot remember their name (anyone who knows me, knows I have the memory of a gnat).

Anyway, I was doing the semi-non-verbal Erm, right?, we know each other help me with your name?, along with, "Hey I haven't seen you since that, uh shoot...over at, uh?"

While he was doing that, Are you fucking serious with your lame ass? + Eye Roll.

Then at the exact same time I realized WHO he was, he realized I hadn't recognized HIM, and it was shame-faced-ness all around.  GAH.  We both mumbled something (or at least I did, as I slinked away).

And such a cutie is the Kiefer....

..................


The other was, Not-BF and I were walking down Santa Monica Boulevard and we saw a smallish guy slouched at an outdoor table.  He was noticeable (for one thing) because he was quite overdressed for the summer weather.  Long black coat, black boots, black beret (this was Back in the Day before such was Cool).

My Not-BF says, "Hey, is that one of the camera guys we had on that last shoot?  Let's go say Hi!"

And then we realized it was AL PACINO.

We did not go say Hi.

We did, however, circle the block one more time.







*Not interesting because I was polite, respectful, and did not act the fool.

Have a Funny

Here in the Emerald City, the granola-eating, Tevas-with-socks wearing natives love the small pet stores that keep their chocolate labs living the organic life.

There was one down at the bottom of my hill that just moved to a different space.  The front of the shop has three large windows, and across the three they had painted, "A great funky pet store for pets and the people who love them" or something to that effect.

So now that they've moved out the landlord is refurbishing and had removed the signage from the first and third windows, so for a few days it read:

And I was all, that is TOTALLY going to be my band name!

"Okay everyone, give it up for our headliner tonight.... FUNKY.... AND THE PEOPLE!!!"

Crowd goes wild.


I'm a simple girl.

Have a great Friday.