My Interior World

I was going to call this, The People in My Head, but that sounded a little disturbing.

So this is how I see things sometimes:

My Soul lives in a snug cottage with a massive stone hearth that holds a roaring fire. It's in a tropical place with the sounds of the surf drifting through the windows.

And yeah I know there are no English thatched-roof cottages in the cayes of Belize, but work with me.

The cottage was built by Character, a fairly strong fellow who tries to continually improve the place, sometimes successful sometimes not. He's a strapping man with broad shoulders, dark hair and a beard. Character has been through a lot - maybe the worst was when I was sexually assaulted by a man I considered a friend. But Character seemed to become more resilient for it. An ex-boyfriend of mine, who has never had a bad day and has the depth of a ham sandwich - his Character I imagine resembles Pee-Wee Herman.

There's a menagerie of animals that Soul tends to. Loyalty is a sweet blonde Lab that is always at the door. Loyalty looks a lot like my friend Kendall's dog, Han.

The herd of cats includes Friendship, Contentment and Affection. My two favorites are Sensuality and Humor.

The most interesting bunch is the birds. They come and go as they please, roost when they choose. Most intriguing is Love. She cannot be courted, no matter how you try. Sometimes she stays for years and the work it takes tending her needs can be quite satisfying. And maddening.

Of course, sometimes she is not the least bit welcome. Weightless on your shoulder, but your heart and hair gripped.... There is NO GETTING HER OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Fickle beast.

But she moves on, as she always does.

And there are the supplies in the closet - things I never seem to run out of - Insecurity, Depression, Rationalization.

My Soul tries to keep the cupboard stocked with Gratitude, Generosity, and Patience, although I am chronically running out of the latter. There are also a few jars of Hypocrisy, Selfishness, and Pettiness. They tend to leak onto everything else but Soul tries hard to clean up the mess with a mix of Self-Awareness, Compassion and Humility.

And some Oxy-Clean.

Anyway, it's a nice place with potential that I try to make beautiful, and for which I have wildly unrealistic goals (I'm going to Save The Planet with this JD! Because that is Way Possible!) ....

But most of the time it's just a lot of day-to-day maintenance.