Happily Ever Afters

This year has brought many of my friends new dimensions to their personal lives.  Three couples have moved in together, one couple to be engaged; and of course the lovely wedding this weekend of my friends Drew and O'Kilt.

Drew was a beautiful bride, the ceremony itself simple and moving, and lots of celebrating afterward including a late night at O'Connell's pub in Alexandria, with Drew still in her wedding gown.

Although all relationships grow, flourish, and sometimes fade, and like everything in this world they have no permanence - it is a joy to see the Happy that all these relationships are giving my friends right now.

Which is not to imply I think all relationships end, or worse, 'fail'.  I remember when the Gores announced their divorce, there was a great amount of teeth-gnashing around "O if they can't make it work who can?", after twenty years of marriage.  That actually sounded pretty successful to me.

Just because something ends, does not mean it failed.  It means it ended.  And we really must be grateful for what we do have - not mourn for what we don't have, or what simply cannot be.

I have had a lot of good times and many fun adventures, but I can tell you there are only three men I so truly loved I believed I could have spent my life with them.  Adored them, admired their talent, wanted so much to be the one to make them happy.  But as anyone reading this knows, I've never been married so you can figure out how that sorted.

Again, I am thrilled for my friends, I am.  Yet it reminds me I have so much love to give, but I can't seem to find anyone who wants it.

 

I did catch the bouquet.  

Why can't the paparazzi just leave me alone?

Watching Time

My front porch faces west, to the Olympic Peninsula.  I can see the Brothers of Hurricane Ridge and every night since I've been home I've been struck with the opal skies of the sunset.  Two nights ago there were horsetail clouds (look it up) and they were pink, gold; arching up like orcas and their little ones under them.

Summer sunsets here last hours - as I write now, at 8:30, the sky is still thick with color.

Being a bit of a fucked-up photog with a medically established lack of frontal-lobe memory ability an art director sort, I've wanted to shoot everything possible to REMEMBER IT.

But you know what?

There is little you can cling to, believing you can make today your own personal  tomorrow.  No matter how many pictures you take, thinking that will enable you to hold your world tight...well you just can't.  And trying can take away what's been right handed to you.

So.

Give, and give more.  Appreciate all the friends that put up with you (and they do - have you been an ass lately?  I know I have been).

Say Thank You for all the love and kindness offered you.

I don't care what the lyrics profess, the sun may not come out tomorrow.

But it may - and be grateful as you watch the sunset.

Regarding Father's Day

A tribute to dads, in an odd way, so bear with me. Also I have no patience whatsoever so this post is early.

My friend Kendall: Who I have written briefly about before. Kendall has been a dear, supportive friend for about eight years now. A loving and intuitive man with wonderful children, grandchildren Kendall's father never had the chance to know.

My friend Burns: A man who is cynically funny, can play the guitar BY EAR, and is a friend of the first order. He also lost his father too soon. He has two beautiful kids and has been through his share of challenges this past year.

My friend Ridley Scott*: A truly Upright Guy, insane talented director and maybe the funniest person I've ever met. I was crazy-nuts about him when I lived in CA. He was not so much The Crazy about me, but always kind and respectful. That truly showed when he came through for me when I was in one of the darkest times of my life. I met his folks once or twice and his dad was so great, so proud of him.

My friend John: An incredible illustrator whose work touches many. I kept emailing him insightful and funny missives (well, I think they were) until I finally wore him down and now we are friends. An amazing man - sweet, open, and full of kindness. He also has so much integrity I think it leaks out his ears, a potential problem for his pillowcases I would imagine. I've had the pleasure of meeting his father twice, so I now know where he gets his charm, generosity of heart, and awesome fashion sense.

My friend Christopher: An intelligent, passionate young man who had a very challenging childhood. Another man with great integrity. He just recently lost his father and my heart aches to know that his father will not be here to see how successful and influential Christopher will be. Witty, smart and informed to the point of being irritating, I am so lucky to know him.

My friend Daniel: Daniel is husband to Marie, dear friends I have written about before. Daniel is more the parent-at-home than Marie, as she is out successfully conquering the international world of advertising. Their kids are terrific and will grow up to be loving and giving adults.

What is my point? Bring it back around, Elle....

These 6 guys have been great to me in their own ways. Some in very narrow windows of time; some give what they can give; others have supported me throughout my adult life.

Although their fathers surely had faults and fallacies (like you know, people), those fathers ultimately gave me the gift of loving friends.

So Thanks from Me, to my friend's dads. Happy Father's Day.


Postscript: I really wanted to work in the phrase, "Besties With Testes", but maybe next time. Sorry Burns.



* Not the real one. Come on People - Really? I would've bragged about that a long time ago.

The Washington State Bar Exam, Chapter Two

As mentioned previously, I studied with Mike and Bex. Today is about Mike.

This dude is, hands down, A Fine Man.

My Alma Mater was keen on bringing in diverse students, especially ones embarking on second careers like me - and like Mike.

I used to be in advertising, which has its Cool Factor and all, but Mike.

Before law school Mike was - wait for it - a fighter pilot.

I KNOW. A FIGHTER PILOT.

Now before I get into that, I have to admit bias because, well, my friend Kendall who is quite dear to me lost not only his biological father but later his stepfather to airflight. His biological father a military test pilot and well, not really my place to tell that story.

Anyway not only is Mike a previous fighter pilot making him Insane Cool, he is also as good as gold, not the Big Head at all. A tall strapping man with a shock of gray hair and dancing eyes. He reminds me of my brother, all those personality traits I wish I had. Friendly, engaging, charismatic... As said in Texas, He's never met a stranger.

He and Bex were good friends, and in the same law section (I was in Section C, I think they were in B). I got to know him a little when we had Con Law together.

I remember he and his wife invited Bex and I over for a party during Review. We all needed the break and it was a good summer get-together.

I was totally entranced with his pilots helmet, it had taken beatings. Like a professional football player's helmet, but with meaning, dedication to country, and cool stickers.

"Jeez Mike, you were a fighter pilot - you must have loved it, must have been so thrilled to be at the very top of the game, and the military must have backed you completely to train you to fly such incredible aircraft...why did you leave?"

"Because I was just the driver, disposable. Pilots can be trained for (x$), but Fighter planes cost (1,000,000x$). Which do you think they consider more valuable?"

Oh. Well I guess I can see that, as much as I'd prefer not.

So that's a bit of Mike.

And a bit of my friend Kendall. I know I'd not be the person I am today without my friend Kendall, and in turn Kendall would not be Kendall without his father.

This weekend, please think of Mike's work, all those who have given, and the sacrifice of Kendall's father.

The family Kendall's father left behind, the children he did not get to see grow up, the incredible grandchildren he never knew.

He gave his life for this country.