I'm in DC right now visiting friends. It's been a good trip.
Sunday I went shopping with my friend Drew and her two bridesmaids. Lovely women both, I was particularly taken with her friend Meredith who reminds me of my friend Heather back home.
I like shopping as much as the next girl but lately it's been a solitary activity because all my girlfriends work and so I just end up going for whatever I need and then I'm done.
But Sunday was particularly fun. We were looking for bridesmaids dresses so the four of us are in the dressing room, saying, Yes, No, Maybe, the length is wrong, that one smushes your breasts, etc. When we were done all four of us spilled out of the dressing room like it was some kind of girl-shopping clown car.
Next up was shopping for Drew's trousseau, first stop was Victoria's Secret (or "Vickie's", as Meredith called it).
We were obviously all together and Drew had picked out several things to try on.
I saw a fantastic black and white bra - white with black lace - which would go perfectly with a black and white dress I have. I don't what it is about that dress but I am always complimented on it and it's one of my favorites.
I'm thinking how fab that bra will look, and how sexy it would be to pull that dress off to reveal that bra to all the men that get to see me undress. And when I say "all the men" I mean none, but anyway.
I go up to the chick who has been helping us and I ask for the bra in my size.
She says to me....She says, in front of God and everybody:
"So are you the mother of the bride?"
OH. MY. GOD.
I closed my eyes because the room started to spin.
When I opened them, I was immediately 10 years older and 20 pounds heavier.
I was no longer the curvy sexy tart I've always considered myself to be, but a frumpy 40-something with saggy tits and my grandmother's flat butt.
Afterwards I told the story and Meredith gave me the biggest hug and an, "OH MY GOD I AM SO. SO. SORRY!"
Drew piped up with, "Hey you know, my face is breaking out and I look really young for my age...."
I appreciated their words, but the damage was done. DONE I SAY.
"So are you the mother of the bride?"
Never, EVER, say that to a woman.
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Right up there with "When are you due?" and "Have you thought about retirement yet?"
ReplyDeleteApparently, the VS staff has a flair for that sort of thing. A number of years ago, I was looking at a cute bra and asked for it in my size (wide back, teeny tiny boobs), and was told "Oh no, honey, it doesn't come in that size -- that's not normal." Seriously.
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