A Few Things I Disapprove Of

1.  Spiders.  Within their ecosystem, spiders play a vital role which blah blah blah.  Whatever.  They're creepy.  I don't dislike spiders per se, I dislike how their legs move independently from each other.  At least centipede legs move in sync.  It is well-established that humans are wary of creatures that do not resemble them.  The less the resemblance, the more suspicion.  Insects have too many legs, snakes none.  Crabs are up to something, echidnas are not to be trusted.  And let's not forget, in a league of its own, the curious beast that is the geoduck:

That's his foot.  If his feet are that big, I shudder to think....

2.  Cruise ships.  They're floating, overblown resorts of sickening outrageous indulgence.  I'd think the idea of an ocean liner would be about, oh I don't know, enjoying the sea.  So why do they have bowling alleys, rock climbing walls and cabaret singers?  Also they are out in THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN.  No land in sight.  Water as far as the eye can see (and that's just the TOP of the water).  What if it falls over?  And the FOOD!  Large fat white people binging on huge spreads of the finest money can buy.  Cruise ships are everything that is wrong with America.  Which leads me to....

3.  The Cheesecake Factory.  What ocean liners are to sailing, The Cheesecake Factory chain is to the local diner.  Have you seen the menu?  A novella of mashed-up caloric craziness.  They offer a Pad Thai pizza.  WHAT?  NO.  Pizza OR Pad Thai, for godssakes.   Also - the servings can feed a small village in Guatamala for a week.  It's disgusting.  And the DESIGN of the restaurants themselves - the last one I was in had an Eygptian theme.  Why?  If they all burned down tomorrow, the world would be a better place.

4.  The Kardashians.

5.  When people buy purebred dogs.  Besides the wrongness that is puppy mills, there are so many deserving pups at animal shelters that need a home, I think it is ridiculous and somehow self-indulgent for folks to spend scads of dosh on a dog because it has 'papers'.  Seriously?

6.  When people write lists that no one but the author's mother cares about - "The 2011 Top Ten Alternative Band Venues in Seattle"   WHO CARES?

Oh wait.