Recent text conversation:
Me: Speaking of bummers, I did the whole Match.com thing about three weeks ago and I haven't gotten a single email. I knew I shouldn't have posted a picture of my face.
Friend: Unless you've reached 100% depression saturation, I would avoid online dating.
Me: Rly? Just last week you opined that any chick who complains she cannot get laid is not trying pretty much at all.
Friend: You're diff
Me: Like, cool diff or pitiful diff?
Friend: No online for you
Me: Hear that's where the penises are
Friend: And if you are very lucky, one will be attached. To a mute. Who owns a liquor store.
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