Showing posts with label art direction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art direction. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Found on the Interwebs, A Series of Tubes



A new offering from those Krazy Kids who brought you Yo, Is This Racist?, a new site called Yo, Should I Dump This Asshole?  There's at least one gem on each page.  Considering I have not had the sex since the Bush Administration(s), and am terminally single, it's nice to know that at least I'm not dating some asshole I need to dump.

Here's Nicholas Sparks' latest:

 What a hack.


A cool site that works a little like RueLaLa, which offers limited-time sales on designer goods, Fab.com.  An eclectic mix with an emphasis on post-modern design.  Post modern is not my aesthetic, but I appreciate it and it's a nice mental design fix to peruse this site.

Jane Lynch on Maddow's show, you've probably seen it but just in case.

Nikola Tesla, via The Oatmeal (a local Seattle dude).

I might have posted this before, and you may have already seen it, but Kristen Bell's appearance on Ellen was awesome.  For one thing, she has the same "on the verge of tears" thing I have, and, she loves sloths. I don't know Kristen Bell from any other celeb (who is she, actually?), but I like her now:




Finally, here is your Aww What a Sweet Card of The Day:

ANNND, 
Mason jars remind me of my grandma, and cooking gumbo, and sharing with friends.



So next week I'll be starting Bar review, I hope to continue regular posting but hard to say as I don't yet know how much of a pumpkin I will have to turn into for the next two months.

The Bar exam is July 24-25-26, send Good Thoughts.





Saturday, February 18, 2012

Food Shoots

I worked on a lot of food accounts over my time in advertising - picante sauce, breads, burger chains, soups, chips, fried chicken chains, ready-made meals - and I found food shooting to be the most difficult.  People and animals take direction; cars just sit there, and exterior location shoots are a matter of waiting for the light.

But food is a bitch.  It is very difficult to control; there's a window of time when it can be shot then it "dies" under the heat of the lighting.  You also can't (or shouldn't) manipulate it to such an extent that you misrepresent the product.  And the waste!  Just as with models, you go through hundreds of bags of bread looking for the the perfect slices - the properly shaped crown, no big holes, the even distribution of the grains.

Pounds and pounds of chicken are prepared for shooting, not eating.  Cooked for the perfect color of crust; raw chicken inside. 

Countless cans of soup opened, the food stylist picking through with tweezers looking for the perfect mushroom slice, the prettiest piece of carrot.

Then everything is tossed in the dumpster.*

A few quotes from food shoots:

"The broccoli needs encouragement."

Regarding a close up of a spoonful of chicken noodle soup, to the stylist:  "Can you PLEASE make that noodle look LESS like a WORM?  AND WHY DO I HAVE TO EVEN ASK THIS?"

Shooting raw strawberries and bananas for a retail juice label:
Client, regarding the hundredth banana we tried:  "That one won't work either.  It looks like a penis."
Photographer, frustrated (to me):  "It's a BANANA.  It's longer than it is wide!  If she wants a banana that doesn't look like a dick maybe we should just use an apple and CALL it a fucking banana."

Client:  "I was really expecting better than this."
Photographer:  "Well it IS a meatloaf we're shooting here."

"Listen, this is not just a cup of nuts.  These are American Airlines First Class warmed nuts.  WARMED nuts.  I need to feel WARM nuts otherwise what's the point?"  

Nationally Know Corn Chip client:  "Obviously shape, form and pointy-ness is critical - I just don't want the cheese dust to be secondary."

Pizza shoot, to the talent: "It's called a bite-and-smile shoot FOR A REASON.  You bite, you SMILE.  I give a shit what it tastes like.  And don't fucking SWALLOW, you're going to be doing this for eight more hours."

Shooting deep-fried fish, deep-fried hush puppies, and french fries on a plate for National Fast Food Fish Chain.  From the client:  "But everything is the same color!"

Explaining to a client why we use a portable fabric steamer to mimic steam off a dinner plate.  Client wanted the food itself to be steaming:
"To get the amount of steam we need to read [on film], this is better because heating the food can't really be controlled steam-wise, and it would probably burn the hand model's hands."
"Aren't we paying her?  Isn't that what she does?"

 "Think it's easy?  You try putting a perfectly fried egg on a piece of Saran Wrap."

"Tell the hand model to spoon the sauce like she MEANS it."

"This isn't working - the beans are taking over.  We need to dial back the beans."


I got paid for this.



*Some clients and photographers do go to great lengths to see that edible product left over from shoots goes to local Food Banks.