Have Some Texas

For no reason whatsoever I am proud I am a Native Texan. Not a lot of people go around saying, I'm proud to be a Native New Yorker/Utahite/pick-your-state*.

And why don't they say that, You ask?

Because none of the other 49 are Texas, that's why.

Back in the mists of time, when I was thinking about having a kid (and I did give it serious consideration for like forty minutes at least), the one thing I knew for sure was I would fly back home to deliver so the poor bastard** would start life on the high note of being a Texan.

No one said I was rational.

A tune from the homegrown ZZTop, about a friendly little place in Central Texas. Yes, it was a real clapboard farm house with a vegetable garden.  I passed it every time I drove between Po-Dunk and Austin during my college years:

* Except maybe those back-assed folks from Oklahoma - 

  "Imma Okie!"  Seriously? Who would BRAG about that?  

** Both descriptors would have been accurate, let's be honest.

A Favorite Cajun Joke

So growing up in Texas means OU jokes, A&M jokes, Cajun jokes. They are probably the same jokes anyone hears anywhere - pick-your-enemy jokes.

OU - Actually I think technically it's The University of Oklahoma, but if you're from the University of Texas we downgrade them to OU.

Totally classic UT joke:
Q: Why doesn't Texas fall into the Gulf?
A: Because OU sucks.

A&M - Any university that encourages students to say "Howdy" to each other should be plowed under. A&M literally hates UT....and as well they may, considering our superiority.

Cajuns - okay, I can tell cajun jokes because I come from cajuns. Hi Grandpa, wherever you are!

Here's one of my favorite cajun jokes, from a series of jokes involving Pierre (PEE-air) and Baptiste (Bob-TEESE):

So Pierre and Baptiste go down the bayou to rent a boat and go fishing.
They go out the bayou (way back where it dauk, even in da daytime) and casting their lines, they start catching left and right (da fish, day jumpin in da boat).

Pierre says, "Baptiste, we gotta come back ta dis same spot tomorra!"
Baptiste replies, "Well yeah - but how we know how ta get back ta dis spot?"

Pierre thinks.

"I know," he says, "I put a big 'X' right here on da bottom of da boat ta mark da spot."

Baptiste, disgusted, "Pierre, you so stupid. How you know tomorra we get da same boat?"


Ha! Oh I am so Texan sometimes.